I’m in the bus right now, and when I look out I can see into the back of a car. There’s a small stuffed bear in this car, with all its parts labeled. Hand. Tummy. Ear.

Sleeping on my bed at home is a big floppy stuffed dog that I once got for my sister. Stitched into its side is an orange patch shaped like a bone, and on it, the word “dog”.

A lot of my nephew’s toys are like this. It reminds me of crayons in boxes. Simple and labeled and separate. And it makes me wonder why and at what point the labels disappear. I’m older now, and wiser, and I can name all the parts of a stuffed bear’s body. But I’d like some help with the rest of life. You know? It’s a strange and unfamiliar journey and I’d like some signposts along the way.
Glory Days. Heartbreak. Poverty Ahead. Bad Decision. Just Another Wednesday. And so on.

Where have all the labels gone? I want stickers pasted all over life with names and warnings and everything. I demand a massive signboard that proclaims, in large and friendly letters: Don’t Panic.


Dear Zonk,

This is another short post about things I need to tell you.

  1. MY ROOM IS FINALLY ALMOST DONE. Well. One piece of furniture remains to come in. And I need my new mirror. And plants. But apart from that it’s done. I’ve moved in now. Unpacked and put things away in the cupboards and made my bed and put up my brand new Hogwarts banner and so on. I’m really happy with the results, and everyone’s quite impressed et cetera, but I know now that I’ll never consider a career in interior design. It’s just too fucking stressful. I’ve fallen sick twice in the last two weeks and at least one of those times might have been stress. I like it, and it’s fun, but clearly I can’t deal with it. So I’ll stick to web design and t-shirts, thank you very much.
  2. I had a slipped disc thingy in my neck. Really minor but also really painful. Some space reduction between two vertebrae or something. This is the second time this has happened to me, and I’m only 25. So I better start being careful about my back and neck now. I plan to – work out more regularly, take 5 minute breaks every 25 minutes while working, not sit on my bed with my laptop for too long *ingores twinge of guilt and keeps typing* and do neck exercises on a regular basis even when my neck feels fine.
  3. I am going to become a person who cares about plants. I swear I really am. I can feel it in my bones.
  4. I can turn my head! As of today. My neck feels so much more normal. It still hurts, but it’s a friendly sort of ache. The kind that feels normal and is therefore almost a relief. Phew. I still have to wear my neck brace thing while commuting, but I think I can take it off otherwise.

That’s all, folks. Goodnight. Sleep tight. Don’t let the Monday bite.

Love always,

Ps. Next weekend, I’ll put up a detailed renovation post with before-after pictures and so on. Please hold your breath. And please pay attention to the post when it comes. Because I’ve really given this my everything.


Dear Zonk,
This is a really short post about things I need to tell you.

One: my room is being painted as we speak. Finally. And its more stressful to redo stuff that I’d thought. Things are everywhere. I worry about putting them back.

Two: my neck is acting up again and its pretty bad and I have to wear a brace all the time that I’m not lying down. Therefore, I am lying down all that I can.

Three: I have no WiFi here in my sisters house. It sucks. And my phone bill is going to be through the roof.

Four: It’s a sad sort of day. I’m bored and I’m blue and I wish I had someone to talk to and the ability to move my head. Though I must say it moves more than it did yesterday.

That’s all for now. Bye bye.

Love always,

When you want more than you have
You think you need
And when you think more than you want
Your thoughts begin to bleed

I think I need to find a bigger place
‘Cause when you have more than you think
You need more space.

- Eddie Vedder

Good Luck on Goodreads

Yesterday night, after I came here to tell you about The Good Luck Of Everything, I looked for the book on Goodreads and marked it as Read and rated it and even wrote a tiny review. And then, because I was still overwhelmed by the book and because the author – Matthew Quick – is on Goodreads, I messaged him to say the book was lovely and thank you.

A little bit later, I checked my email and found this:


An actual signed postcard from an actual author. Of a book I gave 5 stars to. That’s just amazing, Zonk, and its really, really sweet of Matthew Quick to do this. He doesn’t know it, but he made a bad day feel better.

Good things happen on the internet. This is probably the highlight of my week :)

The Good Luck Of Right Now

“What have I been telling you since you were a boy? Whenever something bad happens to us,” Mom said as she tucked me into my new bed, insisting that I needed some sleep after staying up all night, “something good happens – often to someone else. And that’s the Good Luck Of Right Now. We must believe it. We must. We must. We must.”

- Matthew Quick

*smiley face*

Dear Zonk,

Yesterday’s posts sparked some really nice conversations, and today feels better for it. And so, here’s a post about a happy thing for a change: I’d put up a t-shirt design here a few weeks ago and because it met it’s goal of 20 pledges, it actually got printed. Also, because it overshot the goal and did well, it’s now a permanent design on Redwolf. Redwolf made me an id and a password and things (I still haven’t done anything with that) and I can track the sales my t-shirt makes. And also – this is the best bit – everytime someone buys a t-shirt, I get an email about it. I love getting these emails. Its like the Universe making a little smiley face at me every once in a while.

*smiley face*

PS. I have 16 emails so far.16. Woo!