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Day 28

Dear Zonk,

It’s 8:08 in the morning and I should really shower and leave for work but my book is so good.

Yesterday, someone predicted that I’m going to be bored next month.

I’m not.

How could I be bored when there’s so much you could make, learn, practice, do? How could I be bored when, even if I become incredibly lazy, there’s always so much more to read?

Love always,

K.

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30 days

Dear Zonk,

It’s the 4th of October, and it’s getting easier than ever now to think of time in a series of countdowns. Mostly happy countdowns. Which is something to celebrate, since I’m generally wired to fear change.

So this is the first countdown. We’re on Day 30. I’m in a cab on my way to work and I’m tired and my head is weird and it’s slightly hard to breathe right. It’s time for some vitamins again. Oh well.

Later today I’ll draw something. As part of a small, secret, and almost certainly ill-fated side project that I nevertheless need to begin.

Love always,

K.

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Tiny Resolution – Part II

Dear Zonk,

If you’ve been here a while, you’ll know that I have a pattern. I get excited about stuff, I set things in motion, I make a big deal of them… and then they fizzle out. I used to hate myself for it. But over time, I’ve learned to be grateful for these cyclical bursts of enthusiasm instead.

At the end of 2016, I made a series of Tiny Resolutions. Barely a few months into 2017, I watched them splutter and die. Now, almost a year later, I’ve finally begun to get a handle on one of them. And I’ve been thinking that maybe it’s time to reinstate my Tiny Resolutions.

So here’s a quick recap of said resolutions, and a good hard look at where I stand —

  1. Unplug the internet. By internet I mean just Telegram. And sometimes also Instagram. I’m more addicted to my phone than ever. Ugh.
    I’ll consider doing the DnD again. We’ll see how it goes.
  2. Go home on time. I’m scratching this one off the list. Because it’s not something I want to worry about right now. Plus, there’s quite a bit of work to do at the moment, and I don’t always get in on time anyway. So oh well.
  3. Do something worthwhile outside of work for 10 minutes a day.  I’m just happy to be wanting to bring this one back. I’d burnt out somewhat earlier this year, and I’d promised myself not to stress about doing anything extra at all for a while. But I’m a lot happier now. And I have too many half-done side projects of a muchly urgent nature. And so, iIt’s time to try again.
  4. Work out thrice a week. I am a failed human being. But I must try again. I must. I must. I MUST.
  5. Eat more real food. I’ve finally begun to do a semi-decent job of this, and I plan to keep at it. Over the past few weeks, I’ve-
    • killed my chocolate addiction
    • stopped eating chips every day
    • stopped eating a lot of packaged stuff
    • started eating more frequently
    • started having more fruit (albeit in a liquid form)
  6. Sleep more. Ah. Sleep. Still as elusive as it used to be. However, I am sleepy tonight. And so I’m going to put away my laptop and my phone and just go crash. No time better than Now to start a good thing. No place better than the bottom of the list.

Goodnight, Zonk. I’m sorry I’m not editing this or proofreading it at all. I’m too sleepy for that shit.

Love always,
K.

Ps. I’m sorry about the silence too.

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Break time.

Dear Zonk,

I got into my cab this morning and slid down in my seat and imagined that the front half of me was pinning the rest of me down. It was oddly satisfying. But it’s set the tone for the rest of the day.
*slides lower down*

I’m tired. We did a send off party for a friend yesterday, and I did a small celebration of my own the night before. And here I am today, half asleep and in pain, feeling more acidic than I’d like to be.

(The pain is a leg thing, in case you’re wondering. It does not come from working out or anything as commendable as that. My reasons are lame and domestic. I would say more but I won’t. I am not proud.)

I need to recharge my batteries.

For the rest of this week, I’m going to go straight home from work, eat simple, real food, and make sure I do zero things in my spare time. I’m also going to read some high quality, grown-up literature. I’ve read way too many easy books lately, and I’m afraid that my brain will turn into mush at this rate.

And now my break is over. I should really get back to work and hope that nobody from work is reading this. Nobody who’d judge me, anyway.

Love always,
K.

 

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:)

Dear Zonk,

This weekend was Productive. I cooked (my mom was kinda ill), wrote down the recipes of the things I made and then also made small doodles to go with them, helped Tink with his art project, drew hands, and figured out the remainder of my wedding card (variant 1). I also had an amazing Sunday dinner, consisting of cheese maggi and a chocolate truffle magnum bar, on account of I am a failed human being.

This was nice.

But now, Monday.

*drags feet*

Love always,

K.

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Stream of Consciousness

Dear Zonk,

I’ve been away for ages, I know, but for once I have reasons that are happy rather than sad. It’s too long a story to really get into at 10.30 on a Monday night, but I’ll say this⎯ when things begin to weigh you down, don’t wait it out. Change something. Or, at the very least, take a break.

I’m back home and back at work after my break, and I know I haven’t said enough about everything that happened while I was away. But so much time has passed since that I can’t tell you about just that. I have to tell you about other stuff that’s happened too. And that, Zonk, is too much information to organise coherently at 10.37 on a Monday night. Which is why I’m leaving you with this dump of random things I’d like you to know about, in no particular order.

A Dump of Things You Should Know About (in no particular order)

  • I have a new nightlight that I like a lot. It’s a small, teal coloured owl and it sits on a stool by my head and glows greenly all night, every night. Not tonight though, because it’s out of batteries, but oh well.
  • Of all the places I saw on this trip, I liked Bruges best. It’s quaint and charming full of lovely little houses. I liked Brussels second best. I liked Paris third (and last) best.
  • I liked all of the places I saw on this trip. But I’ve realised that I’ll always like sleepy little towns better than big bustling cities. Which is a shame, seeing as I live in one.
  • I’ve cleaned my desk up at work. It’s the same old stuff that I’ve been accumulating over the past 5 years, but I’ve aded new stuff, and shuffled things around a bit. It makes me happier now.
  • I lost nothing on my trip. I never got pick pocketed. I never got lost at all. I adulted like the pro-adult that I’ve become and It. Was. Awesome.
  • Radiohead was awesome too. More awesome than any other gig I’ve ever seen. It was mind blowing. Life changing. Heart melting.
    I was always a fan, but now I’ve become a little bit obsessed.
  • I’ve learned to play (and sing) two Radiohead songs since I got home.
  • One of those, I’ve learned to fingerpick.

  • Which only goes to prove that I can fingerpick now. Finally. After about 10 years of being able to play a fucking guitar. I started out this sentence proud, but I’m ending it with quite some disgust.
  • But, come on. I learned a thing! I’m not good at it yet, but I will be. Some day.
  • My luck in flights has improved dramatically. I got an empty middle seat on my flight to Europe, and an empty middle seat on the flight back B-|
  • I’ve consumed considerably smaller quantites of nonfood since I got back. I’m trying to work out a little bit, at home, but it’s on pause right now. I’m okay with that. I’ll start again mid-week.
  • I had small wedding-y stresses that were probably not meant to be stressed about much. We figured them out. Or rather, C figured them out, on account of being a rational, considerate, and tactful human being with a knack for figuring things out while navigating all sorts of expectations and complex human emotions. How I ever found a boy with such a finely tuned people-radar, I’ll never know. I guess I just lucked out ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  • On that note, due to a random cosmic event of the type that cannot possibly affect a wedding, my wedding will be slightly affected. Nothing dramatic, just a change that needs some adjusting to. I can’t say much until I figure out the all little details myself, but yeah.
  • I have a Kindle now. A white Paperwhite. I bought it from the US and Si is bringing it down. It’ll be here tomorrow, with him. I feel little joy at the moment about this, though. Because my Kobo is not entirely dead yet, and I love it. A lot. I’m considering using both for a bit, or waiting till my Kobo fully dies. But maybe I’m just being ridiculous now. Oh well. I’ll figure it out.

Okay, I had to take a break to go get money for my dad’s shraddh, which is tomorrow. And lucky for you, I’ve lost my train of thought. So I’ll let you go now.

Goodnight, Zonk.

Love always,
K.

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