The Bring-My-Blog-Back-To-Life Project

Edit: My apologies for this mother-of-all-long-posts. But it is imperative that you read it to the end. It is Very Important Indeed, and also Absolutely Fucking Urgent. Thank you, and please proceed.

Dear Zonk,

I just spent a long time talking to Frank after a long time (see what I did there?) And talking to Frank always makes me think about how much more I used to blog six years or so ago, when I’d just started out on Vox and he’d signed up to be my first ever subscriber. I was a whole lot younger then, Zonk, and enthusiastic and energetic and excited about things. I whizzed through my world like a baby cockroach on caffeine. I fizzed and popped and bubbled. I was like Red Bull. I had wiiings. I could take trains every day twice a day and not think twice about it. I could play guitar for hours on end and make songs that I can no longer remember (or manage to play.) I could blog a hell of a lot – twice a day, thrice a day, as many times a day as you please – and never run out of things to say.

But I’m older now, and tireder, and I seem to have run out of things to say and spare time to say them in. And steam, even, but that is a temporary thing.

I grow old, I grow old.
I shall wear the bottom of my trousers rolled.

And so, I’ve decided to start up on a new project. The Bring-My-Blog-Back-To-Life project. And I know I’ve been glum and grumpy and neglectful a lot lately, but I’m hoping that some of you who’ve stuck around will help me figure this out. So here goes.

How To Participate 

  1. Ask yourself if you’ve been reading this blog for a while. By ‘a while’ I mean for over a year or so. If yes, then know that you are a stellar person with incredible taste and beautiful things will come your way.
    If not, then ask yourself if you’re willing to sift through some of the debris here and go back in time and read a couple of random articles from my alternately bleak and colourful blog. If yes, then know that you’re pretty awesome and that I love you. Proceed to Step 2
  2. Think about the blog from Back Then and its ghost from Here Now and see if there’s anything you’d like to see more of. It could be a kind of post, a tone of voice, topics, tags, Random Advice; anything at all.
  3. Be a sweetheart and tell me about it. Entries open for one week from tomorrow. Leave it in a comment on this post, and I will collate the data and make all the calculations and prep myself up with brand-new-bloggness to hit you with in December. (More about December in that other post I told you about.)

Rules of Posting

  1. Be nice, or stay quiet. I really care about this.
  2. It’s too late in the night for me to attempt to make up more rules.

What You Get Out Of This

  1. For the Zonk that leaves the most nicely written comment (in my humble opinion) – I will sift through your blog and find and share the link to my favourite of your posts. Which isn’t much, I know. It’s not like you’ll be getting any crazy traffic on my account. But you will maybe get that warm fuzzy feeling we all get when someone likes what we write and responds nicely to it.
  2. For the top three most insightful and helpful Zonks – I will write one post dedicated to you highlighting your superpowers. For real. (I’m not sure any of you want that. But it’d be a fun exercise for me to figure out superpowers for you. It might also be a fun exercise for you to read about said superpowers. In any case, you won’t know till you try it, and there is no harm in trying at all.)
  3. For the Most insightful and helpful Zonk – apart from that promised superpower post – two drinks, on me. I might not be drinking myself, mind you. But I will buy you two drinks. Somehow, somewhere, someday. Sonn ideally, but that really depends on the geography and the logistics of it all.

That’s all for now, Zonk. I’m excited about this. I hope you are, too. Some of you at least. We all need to blog more in general, in life. It would make the Universe a more bearable place.

Love always,



How I Just Saved Your Eyes

So my sister just set up her brand new blog on wordpress a few days ago. I helped her find a theme and everything, and of course that reminded me of how shit my own theme was. It was awesome when I’d picked it, but the more I learned about wordpress, Zonk, the more I hated the limitations on my blog. My theme had barely any widgets, and yes it had a colour scheme I liked and everything, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t sort of suck, what with it’s tiny font and stuck-together lists and everything..

The theme I actually want is beautiful, but it’s not available on wordpress.com. So someday I’ll get my own domain and set it up there. Until then, I got the next best theme. It lacks separations and I really love separations, but still, it’s a cool theme. At least I know that next time you go to your optician he won’t spoon your eyes out and and put them in a jar labelled ‘Rendered Useless Due To Excessive Reading Of Badly Designed Blog’. Remember me when that does not happen, Zonk. Every time you remember me in the context of your still-unimpaired vision, I gain a kilo. So be nice. Read my blog. Go to your optician, check that your eyes are A-Okay, and think ‘Kitu’. The more often you do it, the sooner I’ll fulfill my personal goal of reaching the 50kg-mark.


But seriously, Zonk, I like this theme because I can have a proper navigation menu, display links on my homepage to blogs and sites I regularly visit, and featured posts and images. I’m not sure if I like this displaying of excerpts on the homepage rather than whole posts..I’ll have to spend some time with it and then decide.

Also, on the top right part of the homepage, next to the featured image, you’ll find a Random Advice Generator that I can update anytime I want to. Which means I won’t have to embed advice in posts anymore woohoo! :) I’ve always wanted a Random Advice Generator on my blog.

Now, I need you to tell me if you like this new theme of mine, or if you think I should switch back to the old one. Also, if you can think of anything that can go under the Random Advice Generator, anything I can add, do tell me. The Top Post thing is temp. I will replace that with something funner eventually.

So tell me. Please do. It will take you less than a minute.

Your’s ephemerally,