The Invisible Pink Unicorn

 me: .lo
im bored
 Frank:
go pray to the pink unicorn
she will grant you lots of entertainment
 me: cant
 Frank: or if you are still unsatisfied pary to his holiness the god of all pastafarians the FSM
 me: the pink unicorn is offended cos i saw her standing in the shadow of a grill n mistook her for a striped zebra-unicorn
 Frank: she is all mighty
almighty
 me: FSM?
 Frank: flying spagetti monster
they are the only true gods
 me: of course
 Frank: hail the pink unicorn and the FSM
 me: nods intellegently
hail hail
 Frank: you dont know about them
 me: no
 Frank: philistine
pagan
go look em up.

So I DID look it up, and I have been greatly enlightened. For those of you who still exist in ignorance, I seek to rescue you from the eternal damnation that you are condemned to.

The Invisible Pink Unicorn (excerpt)
(Peace Be Unto Her) (May Her Holy Hooves Never Be Shod)

Invisible Pink Unicorns are beings of great spiritual power. We know this because they are capable of being invisible and pink at the same time. Like all religions, the Faith of the Invisible Pink Unicorns is based upon both logic and faith. We have faith that they are pink; we logically know that they are invisible because we can't see them. [Steve Eley]

Pinkness (excerpt):

Yea, and I was given by inspiration that She was next to me, and I could touch Her, being the loyal servant, and I laid my hand upon Her mane, and She was Pink. She was not pink, She was not colourless, but She felt Pink, and I was thus overcome. I awoke later with a hangover, but I knew She was yet Pink, but invisible.

This, Dear (not) Reader, is a mere preview to an entire cult. So you can move your mouse-pointer to the link I'm posting below, and move the forefinger of your right hand slightly downwards in a jerky manner.(If you're not smart enough to get subtleities, just click on it you idiot.)

http://www.palmyria.co.uk/humour/ipu.htm

Thank you Frank :)

Heheheheh!

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Paintbox

Hello all, its 10:07a.m. and I'm already depressingly bored. Unfortuanately, I have nothing to talk about today either. And even more unfortunately, I've already discussed zilch here, so that leaves zilch to write about right now.

(Please note the subtle play on words. Thank you. *bows*)

So now I'll tell you who's what colour. And if you're bored enough to read this, then welcome to my life. And if you expected your name to be here and its not, then screw you. (Nah just kidding. If your names not here, You're a rainbow.)

Me: Black. Cos this is my blog and I get to pick whatever I want.

Anisha: Yellow, for her sunshine.

Zeenie: Green. Cos shes quiet and has a brain.

Sirus: Brown. Like earth. Or benches.

Nikhil: Dark blue. Cos he wants to be black but can't cos I don't think so.

Gul: Ochre. Cos she's too afraid to be a yellow and hides it by being a black or a brown.

Alison:Orange. Cos shes an aggressive yellow.

Rohan: Grey. Cos I can't tell what's what.

Ila: Bright Blue. Just.

Ankita: Maroon. Cos I think she'd be a red but I don't think she'd agree. But now she says she wants to be a red but screw you ankita, I can't keep editing now can I..

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“________________”

"We courted Death in order to call ourselves brave, and hid like thieves from Life."
-Toni Morrison

"I am a seeker. I listen to the teachings my blood whispers to me."
-Hermann Hesse

"Where-did-she-go-and-why man. So-lonesome-I-could-die man. Everybody knows your name."
-Toni Morrison

"We are digging a grave in the sky. It is ample to lie there."
-Paul Celan

 

 

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Zilch.

Hello most-probably-nonexistant reader. (And in case of your accidental existance, most-probably-bored-to-death reader). I have zilch to talk about today. But since I have very little else to do, I'll go ahead and talk about zilch.

Zilch:

  • Used to represent the value of nothing, zero (0), zip.

Jim: Hey, I'm broke. Can I borrow some cash from you? How much do you have?
John: Sorry, Zilch.

  • A word used to describe nothingness or an absence of something.

Sam had zilch in his bank account.

  • When one takes a garbage bag and ties it in a string on knots, then lights them on fire. Miniature fireballs with drip from it as it makes futuristic noises.

    Some conflabbed hooligans were holding lit zilches over the balcony at pyromania. One of them hit Max's head. He still has a creepy bubble.

  • Hilary Clinton's chance of winning and the number of her supporters.

    Sexist 1: Did you guys here that Hilary won the presidency?

    Sexist 2: *vomits* Dude, sometimes jokes go to far.

    Bill Clinton: Yeah, my puppet had zilch chance of winning since the beginning.

  • a word used by a famous latin teacher named miss soulier meaning "nothing".

    go soulism!!

    do you know how many feminine nouns are in the second declension? ZILCH!!

  • A single entity which single handedly supplies a anti-pimple cream oxident or corperation with 90% or more of of its profit

    Spriggan needs to stop acting like a Zilch.

Heheheh!

 

 

    Ok, all of thats from urbandictionary. And i don't get a lot of it myself. But its funny.
    This is Zilch too, writing about Zilch. Sheesh…

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Forty.

Every once in a while a day comes along that leaves you feeling..full. A staring-at-a-bright-green-sea day. Its how I think I'd feel at forty. Its how I feel now sometimes- when I've reached an end or a silence; like when we sit outside shady smoke-joints–friends so old my quietest secrets are all their stories. Every once in a while my head grows older than me. Twenty-one years older. And I'm Forty and looking back at what Nineteen used to be.

A nice day, if only.

But a nice day.

:)

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