Just things.

Dear Zonk,

I did not record last weekend. Not because I didn’t plan to or didn’t want to, but because we needed some equipment that was out of stock. I did dig up my violin though, from its sad, cold grave. I tuned it as best I could (which really isn’t good enough at all, given that half the keys are stuck and I don’t have the muscle to turn them at all) and went over the things that I used to be able to play and jammed with myself a little.

Saturday night, I sounded terrible. On Sunday, though, I was fine. And again, for the four thousandth time, I thought about how, if I’d only practiced 20 minutes every day for the past three years, I could have been playing at least somewhat by now.

I think it’s time I tried this again.

I also think it’s pretty amazing how enthusiastic I always am about these plans even though they mostly fail. Just saying.

In any case, I plan to give this whole regular practice thing another shot.

In other news, work is getting into that stressful space where there’s fuckloads to do with no end in sight. Not stressful stressful, mind you. Just the constant low whine of worry born of to-do lists that never end. Oh well.

Things are good right now. Things are fine. But I better make sure they stay that way. I’m beginning to breathe wrong again these days sometimes and I have trouble sitting still. That’s never a good thing.

But all I need is some discipline. Eat every few hours, break every forty minutes, focus on one thing at a time and sleep a lot each night. I blame the internet for my recent restlessness. I’m afraid I’m turning into the kind of person who keeps a million windows open and switches from one to another all the time. I have more to tell you about this, and about my need to be more disciplined, but later.

For now, just know that I try. I’m sitting in a chair at my desk and typing this post up just to prove that I’m trying. I hate chairs. I’m not built for chairs. And it’s not like the bed isn’t right here behind me. It’s not like I can’t lie down and continue to post this with this laptop balanced on my knees. But I won’t. Because, please note, I try.

And now, Zonk, I’ll crash. I slept only 3 hours last night and I’m a zombie right now. I’m actually pretty impressed with how well I’ve managed today on no-sleep. I must have made some typos here, though. Oh well. I’m sure you’ll understand.

Goodnight, sleep tight, don’t let the Monday bite.

Love always,
K.

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3 thoughts on “Just things.

  1. I’m never comfortable on a chair at work mostly coz of my bad posture. I sit in a weird slouched comfy position at home which makes me wish I had my own cabin. He he. Night night :)

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