Life Lesson-

Ignoring dental problems is not an effective way of dealing with fear of dentists.

I’ve learned this the hard way.
Appointment #2 is tomorrow. I hope this time I’m braver and don’t flail my arms and legs so much while people put drills in my mouth.

When all of this is over, I will go stuff my face full of donuts. And right after that I will begin to treat my teeth like the jewels that they are. Or ought to be. After the fucking root canals. I will brush fifteen times an hour. I will go to the dentist all the fucking time so he can arrest the evil before it takes root again. I will go so many times that he will have my number on speed dial and invite me to his children’s birthday parties. Which I will attend. And while I’m there I will eat no cake. So he can see what a stellar dental client I can be, even if I did try to kick him during my root canal.

Please, Universe, please let them discover a Miraculous Cure for all dental maladies while I am asleep tonight. Let them not numb my face and drill holes into my skull. And also I want to be able to drink tomorrow night. Which won’t be possible if I’m pumped full of anesthesia. So, Miraculous Cure, please. Thank you. And hurry.


Author: Kirtana K

I paint and make music and blog like a maniac. These days I try to run. But I have chicken legs and lungs the size of two-rupee balloons. I fail. I like pajamas and striped socks and books that read like song and songs that sound like poetry and strangers who read this page. And Maggi when I'm sick or cold or sad or celebrating. They'll find noodles in my veins if ever they cut me open. And potatoes. And maybe a tiny bit of whiskey. I'll be an Unidentified Living Object and they'll put my insides on display. It will be crazy. It will be awesome. It will.

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