I, Traveller.

It’s been a while, hasn’t it, m’ Zonk. Come on in now, and never mind with taking off your shoes. It’s toe-freezing weather out and I don’t have the fire going yet. So keep your feet all covered up. I’ll even give you an extra pair of socks if you like. Regular or striped, depending on whether or not you’re on my Extra-favourite List today. Sit down for a bit and I’ll get you some coffee. And uh..ignore the cobwebs, please. You know I like to keep things shipshape around here.. But now the widgets are curtained in dust and the dates have gone stale and..is that mould I see near the search bar!?

Sigh. I never let things get this way  when I’m around, you know. But I haven’t been around. I’ve been away.


Indeed. I’ve been away. I, Maker of Flopped Plans, made a plan that did not flop. I, a Chair, grew a pair of shoes and walked away right out of this city. Not that I don’t love this city, I do, but it’s one thing to live in a city and it’s another to live in your house. And it’s an altogether other thing to live in your house 24 hours a day 7 days a week 4 weeks a month 12 months a year. I could go all the way up to a century, at least, but I’m only 22 so that would be a ginormous exaggeration. And I don’t exaggerate. Ever. I like to keep things simple. I like to stick to the facts. I like to get straight to the point. Like a blood test report, if you please.

In any case, I went to Bangalore last week, for the Prodigy gig. I’m not a fan, it isn’t my type of music. But people were going and it was a chance to get out of Bombay for a few days. I went. I watched. I got smashed against the fence by hordes of crazy dancing people. I got scared a little, too. Of this guy. But it was crazy. I’ve never seen anything like it before and I’m glad I got the chance to go. But Prodigy wasn’t the point of the trip. The Trip was the point of the trip.

And the trip was Awesome. Here’s what I figured from spending 3 days in Bangalore: it could be The Perfect City. Allow me to elaborate:

  1. The Food Scene: Food in Bangalore is incredibly cheap. I never spent more than 200 bucks a meal (not counting alcohol). And I really ate a lot. If I lived in Bangalore, I’d hang out at fancy eating places all the time and not feel poor ever again.
  2. The Pub Scene: They have Pubs there. Pub that serve alcohol  that regular people can afford. 200 bucks a pitcher at this one place where I drank one time. 200 bucks a pitcher during happy hours at this other place where I drank one time. Happy hours last really long too. Seriously Happy hours. We have cheap alcohol here, yes. But you only find it in shady places and you usually have disgruntled middle aged men for company that look like they might just go home and beat their wives a little.
  3. The Lodging: SO CHEAP! We paid 620 bucks a night for a room with 3 beds that came with a TV, a big bathroom, cupboards and hot water. It was a good room. Way better than rooms in my house if you ask me. I wouldn’t mind living in Hotel U G Grand for the rest of my life in I could get my mom to cook there instead of whoever does cook there. They have nice coffee. But that’s about it. Their eggs look a little green and they put raisins in their jeera rice. If you ever stay at Hotel U G Grand, stay away from the jeera rice.
  4. Blossom: I got one of the Adrian Mole series from Fort a few months ago. I paid 300 bucks for it. I got the entire collection at Blossoms. I paid 150 for it. It’s almost unfair.

Pretty awesome, isn’t it. Some stuff is waay better in Bombay, though; like dal and egg biryani. And bread. And ice-cream. And ricks that go by meter, and meters that don’t start at Rs.17. So if I could move all of that to Bangalore, I think I could live there for the rest of my life. I’d have to take along everyone I know, of course. And the Xavier’s building and Jhunka and Kayani’s and Gokul’s and Sunlight. Actually I think I’ll take the entire town area. And the sea.

Oh well. Maybe I’ll just bring the Bangalore pubs and price tags down here instead. Either way, I went to Bangalore last week and I had an awesome 3 days. I’d finish this post up properly, but I’m getting sleepy and I don’t want to look at my screen anymore. Goodnight, Zonk. Sleep well and don’t forget to check the nightlatch before you go to bed. And leave a light on if you can. I hear it keeps the bronchitis away.


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