I Am A Chair

Now, Zonk, if you’ve been here a while you’ll already know this. But I feel the need to repeat it for the gazillionth time, for just in case you haven’t been here that long.

It’s been more than a year since college ended. I’m still sitting home. No enrolling in other institutions, no employment. No waking up everyday with a Purpose and a Weariness. No Trudging Off to the train station in the mornings. No movie-like Homeward Bound sentiments in the evenings. Because I’m always home. In fact, I’m almost always in this one chair in front of my comp at home. It could at least have been one of those fancy swiveling leather-cushioned affairs that nobody in their right minds would want to get off off. But no. This chair is a cheap plastic thing that cost about 400 bucks. On days when I’m feeling fancy, I put a cushion on the seat. On days when I’m feeling regular, I pretty much am the chair.

Oh well. Perhaps I will succeed after all in creating a half-decent portfolio in a few months’ time. Perhaps someone will employ me. And I’ll have a Purpose and a Weariness to my days again. And money. When that day comes, Zonk, I think I’ll sit down and cry from relief. Until then, I’ll stay here in my chair and feel Grim About Things.

Speaking of which, the list of Things I Feel Grim About is getting longer these days. There’s the usual stuff – Future, Finances, Life, Self, Chairs, etc. Then there’s new Things. Like Health. And Feeling Fat. Indeed.

Here’s the thing, Zonk. I stay home all the time, and I do things like paint and make music and blog and design. I use my head a bit. I use my body not at all. It makes me nervous. And fat-feeling. Raise your eyebrows at me if you must. But skinny people can feel fat too. If they sit still for long enough. And eat well. And eat often. It’s not really a fat feeling..more like a flabby sort of upset feeling that comes from not moving enough on a regular basis.

Point being, I can’t afford to not move much, Zonk. Because apart from the silly flabby feeling, which I really have no reason to bother about while I’m still this underweight, there’s also the simple logic of How People Go Mental. If you don’t do anything physical, you don’t get too tired by the time the day’s done. Which means you stay up a little later everyday. Eventually, and I could pinpoint the exact moment in time when this should occur if only I had some Mathematical ability, you’ll have trouble sleeping at all. And we all know how not-sleeping is a depressing, anxious-people-making thing. I hate being an anxious-person. Which is why I better get some regular exercise under my belt.

So here’s the scene: I went swimming regularly, till the pool shut for the rains. And then when the pool opened, I decided to Be A Runner instead. Which means I jogged 20 minutes a day, everyday. Till I discovered that nobody was actually going to get that family gym membership. Which kind of killed the running thing for me. I mean really, I was mainly excited about having a purpose to be in a gym. Now I’m considering getting back to cycling, because I love cycling and I cycled a lot when I was a kid. Trouble is, where I live, you only cycle if you’re under fifteen, or else somebody’s bound to mistake you for a milkman. And I hate to admit it but I really do get pretty affected by What People Think. So I’d like to cycle when the streets are empty. Which should ideally be early in the morning or late at night. Except I’m asleep in the mornings, and I’m not allowed to cycle alone late nights on account of its not safe and I’m easy-kill and so forth.

Which brings me to Today. I woke up somewhat early today (8 a.m.) and had my coffee and looked out. Seemed like there was no traffic. So I decided to take my cycle to the air-filling guy, and go for a nice, long ride. Turns out 8a.m. is too early for the air-filling guy too, so I just wheeled my cycle back home. But it got me thinking, that maybe it’s time to change my lifestyle a bit. You know, sleep early, wake up at 6 in the morning, etc. Cycle a lot, eat fresh fruit and vegetables. Well fuck the fruits and vegetables, but I could try waking up at 6 and stuff at least..it’s a small price to pay if it keeps me from going loony. Of course, it might actually upset my day a bit. I’ve got pretty used to my awake-alone midnight hours..I use the time to continue work on things, and to read random blogs. Think I should give up on being Nocturnal and be Healthy and Not Mental instead? Do tell, Zonk. It’s Poll Time.

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20 thoughts on “I Am A Chair

  1. my beloved “could be perceived as milkman” sister….u shall be employed soon after your “HS” (High-Society) Arena course is done :P…and then you’ll hate the grind…and will continue to feel like a chair, but this time outside the house ;) Feel like a chair…but whats with feeling FAT you cheeky li’l wimp :| ???
    In any case since you’re my favorite girl…I have a secret plan for ya baby :)

  2. Oh, I completely agree that not doing any physical activity makes people lose their minds. I tell people all the time, but a lot of them don’t believe me. I’m blessed in the way that if I don’t do any physical activity for long enough, I start becoming hyperactive and will then either do some exercise at home or just get out and start running in any random direction. So yes, you totally should do something. Why do you need the gym membership to run? Doesn’t Thane have a lot of open spaces? You can plan to run in the Mumbai Marathon in Jan if you need a purpose. I’m sure you can do 7kms 2 months from now.

    I completely second you on the “skinny people feeling fat”. It happens.

    And you can completely pass for 15 if you dress for it.

  3. If it was me, and believe me I’ve been a Chair for a massive part of my life, I’d stop being a chair. I’m sorry to burst your bubble but the truth is that we are no chairs, we are the living, screaming, shouting, running manifestations of Our Thoughts. You are what you think. If you care about What They Think then you become their thoughts. Do you really want to be that? Or you’d rather be the vivacious person you know yourself to be… And even if you want to stay a chair at least get some wheels on that damn thing.

    1. Well. Sorry to burst your bubble, but you’d rather be a chair than a manifestation of Your thoughts. Besides you do sound like a chair. One of those cardboard thrones from low budget wedding receptions, to be precise.

      But such profound opinions. Impressive. Would make sense if you saved them for more profound posts rather than the ones where I whine and declare that I’m a chair for the obvious entertainment value of it.

      1. I would save my opinion for more profound posts but then all you do is whine and call yourself( and others) a chair. Maybe I would rather be a cheap cardboard throne, laze around, think about what people at the wedding reception think of me but i can’t help being a manifestation of my thoughts cause it seems that’s the way our mind is built! And also I burst my own bubble long back, ain’t no bubble left to burst anymore.

  4. ” but then all you do is whine and call yourself( and others) a chair”

    Indeed. I can see why my whining would offend some people.
    But who forced you to stay and read all of it these past two years or however long? Read if you want to. Leave if you must. Why stay and torture yourself?

    1. Hey, no one’s offended or tortured here!
      What forces me to stay on is Your writing( or rather You (doesn’t matter since both originate from the same soul)). Make no mistake – I love your blog. Hell, I even take inspiration from it and all.

      P.S. I got this really bad habit of telling people to be positive about life and all, especially when it’s none of my business. I’m just a Bastard, don’t take me seriously :].

    1. No, it’s completely black. And it’s not leather, it’s some weird material. It’s not one of those big comfy chairs, it’s the small one with the disjointed small back support. But back in Thane I was one of those big leather-ish chairs with the extra long back and the neck support and adjustable armrests and everything. The only thing it didn’t do is put your feet up and massage you.

  5. If you love cycling and also do not want to look like a milkman (which you don’t coz your cycle woudn’t have cans hanging by the sides) ask Krups to buy a fire fox bicycle. :) Its really trendy and you would never see a milkman riding on one. By the way Bank of America is giving away bonuses in February this year. :)

  6. I have a laptop, so my chair is a big overstuffed leather deal. I’m not quite tall enough for the proportions, however, so I get a backache if I sit too long (which I usually do.)

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