Gloom

For the first time in six years I got into a train today, found a place to sit near a window, and then got off. Because I was too paranoid to try sitting still in a claustrophobic place for sixty-five minutes. 

You don't know how important window seats are to me Zonk. I've spent a lot of my life clambering for them and getting pushed against poles, and I've never before let one go. 
When I called Si I was sure I'd be sitting at Marine Drive two hours later waiting for the crowd to thin and my head to clear. But then I called M and decided to get home and took an ac bus. Sketched in the back of one of my fav poetry books for a bit and then sat around for the rest of the two hour trip home. 

I'm home now. And I've never been so depressed before. I'm sure I say that everytime I'm depressed :| I love you all Zonk. What's going on I don't know but I know I love you all. A few days ago I said I'd trade you for a good night's sleep. I lied. I wouldn't. I was desperate then but I couldn't do without you. I hope you all know that.
I will be back in a bit. I mean today. Soon.

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