I think its unfair that there's only nonsense here to earmark all the times that I feel content. All sense I confine to my gloom..that is no way to value being happy. And so I'm here to tell you that I am at peace.
I had an epiphany a few days ago- once I get my post-grad sorted, I'm going to get a low-paid, chilled out magazine writing job of some sort and custom paint on the side when I can. The post-grad I have no idea how to sort yet but the Universe tells me that now is not the time to worry about it. The Time will come in a few weeks I suspect, but until then, I think I should not care. The writing job, I really have no reason to worry right now. I'm not going job-hunting for another two years anyway. And painting, that seems to sort itself out every now and then, and I really have very little to do with it. I suppose the Universe is benign after all.
Someone's giving me the fuel tank of his bike to paint. Minus all the mechanic work that precedes the painting. That's awesome, but what I'm really kicked about is the fact that someone actually trusts me with his Bike..I hope I don't screw it up. Will start next month I think, fingers crossed, Zonk. It might get inconvenient, I know, specially when you're tying your laces or buttoning your shirt, so cross your fingers once a day or something, I'm sure it'll work the same. This is important, mind you, I ask you to cross your fingers because crossing mine never worked for me. Anyway, I'm painting my sister's wall soon. If that works out, I have another one to paint. And then another. Not much money in the whole three projects, two are free, but I'm a little kicked all the same. Walls are scary. Big. But I think it might just work.
Also, I went for a friend's aunt's art exhib yesterday, as part of a live art show, and painted my first canvas. Not as good as I wanted it, specially since I didn't finish it, but people seemed to like it:) :) Next week I get the canvas down and finish it at home, and then I'll judge myself.
So things are going pretty good in my head. As long as I have projects planned for a longish while, I'm happy. Besides, there comes a time when it becomes impossible to ignore how lucky you are to be getting even half a chance to feel productive at the end of each day. I don't work everyday. Not at all. But I like to know that its only my own flaws that stop me. Its nice to feel worthwhile.
And now I must really run, Zonk. A hug from me to all of you. Just because I'm feeling positive about things. Which is rare for me, I hope you understand that. I'm generally about as optimistic as a mosquito trapped in the wire mesh of an electric racquet. And also, its cold outside. Sweatshirt time :)
Ps: title from Untitled by Pearl Jam. From Live on Two Legs. The simplest most sincere song I've ever heard. I hope you hear it too. And now I'm in a Vedder mood so time to go wear my Vedder tee. Ta!