**for a nominal fee, of course.
Yehello Zonk. I have quite a lot to do right now, but I thought about it a bit, and then some more, and then I decided that This is more important than all of That. So here I am taking precious moments out of my priceless time and typing all of this up, all because I learnt something that everybody could benefit by and no I will not change 'learnt' to 'learned' no matter how many times vox underlines it in red. (Ha! Vox even underlines vox in red! Screw you!)
Anyway, I made a Pretty Important Discovery yesterday. I won't say its Very Important, but definitely not Trivial either. And please remember that, Zonk, because its very easy to dismiss this type of information as pointless.But you need to learn to be discriminating in that respect. I can teach you if you want**. I'm a damn discriminating-in-that-respect type of person. I think people must notice that about me right away; my ability to discriminate in that respect.
But moving on..
I was out all evening yesterday, and I Really wanted to wear my Alice shoes, so I went to my sister's place though I was getting pretty late, cos she told me that's where the Alice shoes were. Needless to say they weren't there, should have known they wouldn't be, (it was that kind of day you see) but well. So then I had to wear her normal uncool unpainted converses, but I didn't want to keep the rick waiting while I tied the laces, seeing as it was moving at an inch an hour anyway. So then I did the only thing I could, Zonkness, I slipped the shoes on (don't tell my sister, she would Really not approve of me crushing the back of her shoes) and ran back to my rick. On the way I tied the laces. Twice.
Now Zonk, there was a time in my life when my winters were full of lace tyings and desperate double knots; but that all changed post-Ian. (Ian, fyi, is only the coolest person on the planet when it comes to shoelace wisdom. Really. I'm not being sarcastic or anything. My ragged blue Reeboks are still awesomely zipper-laced thanks to Ian.) Anyway, I learnt from Ian that I'd been tying my laces wrong all my life. And thank god I figured that before the relentless lace-tying did irreparable damage to my already-frail back.. I'm sorry but thinking of Ian always makes me a little emotional. Excuse me while I find my little flowered hanky and dab the corner of my eye with it. *dabs*
So anyway, when my laces came undone in the rick yesterday, I was surprised. Okay, that's an understatement of sorts..I was shocked. Speechless. Aghast. And so I rethunk it all, and realized this:
- What I learnt from Ian was that I was tying my shoelaces wrong all along.
- I was tying my shoelaces instinctively all along.
- After months of corrected lace-tying, I'd begun to think that my instincts had become habituated to said corrected lace-tying.
- I was wrong.
You see, dear Reader, yesterday, I tied my laces instinctively again, after several months of conscious practice. And I failed miserably at lace-tying. (Would have gotten pretty depressed about it too, if I weren't such a resilient person.) Which only goes to show that when it comes to tying shoelaces, you should Never Trust Your Instincts.
So there. Seems unimportant, I know, but imagine this: your intuition lets you down in one area repeatedly. What's going to happen then? You're going to stop trusting your instincts at all. And someday, when the right man/woman comes along, and your instincts say Yessss!, you'll think of all those times your shoelaces came untied and you'll shake your fist in that man/woman's face (metaphorically, unless you're a freak) and go on living the misery that you call Life. And I really don't want that to happen to you, really. You're a nice bunch of people and I'm a sweetheart of a philosopher who only wants to better your existence. And before you start asking, Yes. I will accept your wedding invitations 10 years hence when you're dying to express your gratitude.
Your's Seriously joblessly,