When Bollywood Came To Brindaban

I live in a pretty boring colony. It's ancient. Multicoloured. Ugly.  A fancy park where the slide has two different slide-down paths connected by a cool rope-bridge is the coolest thing that ever happened to Brindaban. Or so I thought.
And here, Dear  Reader, is a little gem for you to take away and mull over in your hours of Boredom. You never know what happens. Cos guess what, Brindaban is not a boring little place after all. *smokes a cigarette in a nonchalant non-thane-girl fashion*

So I went to borrow a book about modern art from Ila. We stepped out as usual. In shorts and pajamas and old ugly shirts. Took the regular route in the regular fashion. You know, playing out our regular roles, filling our little spots in the mundanity that our existences are. Correction: in the mundanity that our existences used to be. Because Bollywood *drum roll* came to Brindaban. *waits for commotion to die down*

Yes you heard it right. Bollywood. And I'm pretty sure I'm not mistaken..no one pulled a fast one on me. To be 100% sure, I double checked and made a list of things that point to the General Presence of Bollywood in Suburban Loacalities, and all of them apply in this particular context. So here's what we found as evidence of Bollywoodity.

  1. Six whole vans parked around the place.
  2. A giant Yash Raj Films "Y" painted on large number of said vans.
  3. Tripod stands.
  4. Cameras on tripod stands.
  5. Tracks for the camera to move on *impressed face*
  6. A bunch of important looking men in identical baggy shorts. Some of them had clipboards and all of them had cigarettes.
  7. Food being set up.
  8. Implied presence of celebrities who will consume said food. I have a gut feeling that food was for celebs. So play along.
  9. Half the population of the locality clustered around a single spot. (Spot of the shooting, i.e.)
  10. Population clustered around spot looking more dapper than usual. (Accompanied by an alarming rise in powder/perfume/deo content of the lower strata of the atmosphere. I'm not completely certain, but if the vans continue to stay here, I believe a survey of the sales made by local general stores during the period would provide concrete evidence suggesting the same.)  
  11. The smell of Glamour in the air. Okay. To be honest I didn't smell anything out of the ordinary, but I've always believed my olfactory system to be frail and flawed. I'm sure the other people there smelled it.

So that, people, is how I got famous.
Well, I may not be famous yet, but we did walk through the set holding up a cool intellectual looking book titled "The Joy Of Art". Turned out they were'nt filming at the point*. But no worries, I have every intention of returning when they do begin, with the same exact book. And in order to stand out I will also wear my pajamas. (Round here, pajamas are still associated with such trivialities as sleep, toothbrushes and buying bread on Sunday mornings. Result being that I am probably the only person who walks around in them after taking a bath. Which reminds me, I must take a bath before I step out again. And maybe I should take my guitar along also. Who knows. They might want me in the frame or something..)

*In case it escaped you, I'm not actually this feather-brained. I knew they weren't filming, I just said that cos it sounds funny. Now I will go take a bath and polish my guitar case.

*leaves with stars sparkling in eyes*

Awestruck villagers
Yash raj films van

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Author: Kirtana K

I paint and make music and blog like a maniac. These days I try to run. But I have chicken legs and lungs the size of two-rupee balloons. I fail. I like pajamas and striped socks and books that read like song and songs that sound like poetry and strangers who read this page. And Maggi when I'm sick or cold or sad or celebrating. They'll find noodles in my veins if ever they cut me open. And potatoes. And maybe a tiny bit of whiskey. I'll be an Unidentified Living Object and they'll put my insides on display. It will be crazy. It will be awesome. It will.

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