Twelve days is a long time to be away from a blog. Maybe it was the exams. Or maybe its just that I've had nothing to say. But if you've been here a while, you'll know, I almost never say anything real.
Either that or I'm in the mood to believe it.
Its been an eventful twelve days. My boards are over (for all practical purposes). I've been out celebrating in small and sober ways. I've been reading, I've been making music. I've been pulling the blinds on the Paranoia that blinds me every so often. And though its been getting easier to ignore it I wish sometimes that I could be like other people who don't think things in the night or in the little moments when bodies ache or break..And that this city was a smaller place that threw all of us together in more ways. I had not known how time and space could plunge or soar my moods I had not known how both could make me brood and stew in my gloom.
Or how little things like a night full of Scrubs and old comfy company could keep you from thinking these things. Its fun. I might sound morose but truth is I've had a nice time. Most of the while at least. And now I have two new books to read and lunch plans tomorrow and hopefully, a load of music to make. Stuff that gets completed and actually gets heard maybe. Who knows. These things happen. I am a thrown stone full of hurtling and heaven knows where I'll land. Could be some awesome place. Or maybe I'm stuck in a lump of sod that's falling into a grave.
These things happen.
But for now, filled up squares in calendars can stop us all from going insane. Maybe I just saved a life. I hope so. It'd make a cool story.. But of course I most probably didn't. Ah well.
I swear there is a point to all of this.
(Note here to someone who I'm sure is reading this: small happy things are real. I hope someday you stop looking for the rest of everything.)