I discovered something right now, after great deliberation (that lasted all of 3 and a half minutes- the time I took to decide what the title of today's post should be). But just because the discovery involved only three minutes of deliberation doesn't mean it's not a discovery of magnanimous proportions. It involved a lot of complicated calculations- trigo and everything. Its just that my brain works lightning fast (which is why I can make a speech most of you won't get head or tail of in the time you'll take to speak a sentence.)
Okay, I'll stop with the fancy words and the I'm-smarter-than-you bullshit. You're smart too. (Ofcourse, my facebook IQ was pretty high..132 to be exact but I'm not one to brag.) In any case, there's 365 days in a non-leap year, and I figured I feel worthless on atleast 361 days. (I feel worthful on my birthday, on lit result days, and on atleast one other random day of the year.) But thing is, I'm not stupid or anything, and not particularly untalented or ugly. I mean I'm okay, so I began wondering what it is that makes me feel worthless all the time (and all of this within three and a half minutes, mind you). And I think I realised why.
I'm just plain and simple UNINSPIRED. I could write, but there's usually not much to write about (as is obvious from my blog). I could compose, but again, it'd be incomplete cos there's nothing to write about. And when there is, it's pretty depressing. (I don't think people think much at all unless they are unhappy.) Of course, once in a while inspiration does randomly strike.. like maybe if I go for a gig and the guitarist is some Slashy guy, or if I reread Jazz for the 4th time or something. But then it goes away before my brain can bother to instruct my hand to pick up a plec or a pen or scratch my nose or something. I think I'm uninspired because I'm fucking lazy. And because I'm about as aware of anything happening outside my head as a bat is of its own ugliness. About that- its a good thing bats are blind. If ever they knew how fugly they look, they'd do themselves a favour and poke each others' eyes out anyway.
Luv ya all.
(Just a random new way of signing off)