Shades of blue.

I've been thinking that when people say they are blue they could be anywhere between melancholia and a death-wish. Not a fun observation, but I've been low for a while now and I've been taking down notes. Not. And I thought that I might as well share my observations with the rest of the world, cos this is Really Useful Stuff. I'll illustrate with a story. Listen.

Once upon a time there was a guy called Mangalam (name changed to protect identity). Now Mangalam happened to be watching National Geographic- some story about an eskimo baby that was adopted by a polar bear. He was also eating an apple, and, being fussy, he made sure that the fruit was diced perfectly into four pieces, and peeled each piece completely with a Very Sharp Knife before eating it. Now, while he was dicing and skinning, the eskimo grew up, found out that he was not fat, white and furry, learned human-like behaviors, and shot his Ma (the polar bear). But he missed, and the bear ate him. At this point, an eyelash went into Mangalam's eye, which began watering. Simultaneously the knife slipped and made a tiny cut in his wrist. (Mangalam was a bit slow and always had trouble aiming anyway) His roomie came in, saw the bear eating the man on natgeo, saw Mangalam crying and bleeding, and remembered that 2 days back he'd said he "felt blue". So he put Mangalam, who actually felt perfectly happy, on Prozac. Mangalam did not complain, cos he was experimental and all that, and he loved the drug so much that now he's hooked and starts peeling apples if he can't have it. All because his roomie didn't know just how blue BLUE was.
Similarly, there was a girl called Bijli, who kept telling her boyfriend she "felt blue" (partly cos people who heard her name expected her to be a horse). The guy kept saying- "awww" and brushing it off with a tsk tsk and a shake of his head. Then bijli stole his favourite Swiss Army Knife (that he'd bought after saving up his pocket money for 7 months), and slit her wrists and her throat. And, while she waited for Death, she also used the now bloody knife to shave her legs. She died, and the boyfriend was left with a load of guilt and pain and all that. Also, he never used his favourite knife again. All cos he didn't know exactly how blue BLUE was. 

Shades of blue:

  1. Sky blue: not really a bad feeling. More like a nice-ish day when you feel thoughtful and intellectual.
  2. Sea blue: Feeling slightly sad. Like not upset, but wanting a hug. Like a falling down day. (Note: Mangalam probably felt one of these 2 blues)
  3. Dark Blue: Upset.
  4. Grey Blue: depressed. Characterised by a desire to listen to the same depressing music over and over again. May even cause depressed person to write sad songs or stuff. Causes weakening of will power. For e.g. person may say "fuck it I won't call him/her" and in 2 minutes person WILL call him/her.
  5. Black: Suicidal. Its what Cobain felt when he killed himself. Same thing Bijli felt, too, but she's not a famous punk so no one cares about her. (Note: if you're crying for Bijli right now, cos no one remembers her while everyone has a Kurt t-shirt, you're probably feeling Black and need some help. Fast.

So next time someone tells me they feel blue, I'll direct them to this page so as to help them figure out exactly what they mean. Depending on which I'll either pat them on the back or direct them to an asylum.

Now bye.

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Author: Kirtana K

I paint and make music and blog like a maniac. These days I try to run. But I have chicken legs and lungs the size of two-rupee balloons. I fail. I like pajamas and striped socks and books that read like song and songs that sound like poetry and strangers who read this page. And Maggi when I'm sick or cold or sad or celebrating. They'll find noodles in my veins if ever they cut me open. And potatoes. And maybe a tiny bit of whiskey. I'll be an Unidentified Living Object and they'll put my insides on display. It will be crazy. It will be awesome. It will.

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