Dear Zonk,

Today I fought with contractors and did not have the heart to fight with carpenters and ended up with the wrong sort of handles on my cabinets and worked till 9pm.  I’m tired. And my kitchen still lingers at about 90% done.

Plus, I don’t know what to read.
*breaks a thing*

Love always,

Random Things I’ve Learnt Are True.

Or thoughts from planning my kitchen.

  1. Indians pay a premium for white. (I cannot speak for other non-Indians.)
  2. Stuff that shines costs way more than stuff that does not shine.
  3. Given a choice, my mother will almost always opt for white and shiny things.
  4. White granite is usually grey in colour, and also very speckled.
  5. Pure white granite is rare, and it looks fake and featureless. In fact, it looks pretty much like the stuff your toilet is made of.
  6. This does not stop white granite from being thrice as expensive as black.
  7. It’s easy to get ripped off.
  8. It’s easy to go along with it anyway. Especially when the alternative is saying no after having said yes.
  9. I’d rather be disliked than ripped off. This I’m only just beginning to learn. And it’s saving me some money.
  10. But I’d also rather be ripped off than inconvenienced. This I’ve always known to be true, and it’s always been losing me some money.
  11. My entire kitchen fits into about a fourth of my bedroom.
  12. Quartz and other engineered stones are gorgeous. They are also way more expensive than black granite, but cheaper than the toilet variety of granite.
  13. Quartz and other engineered stones are not built to resist much heat. Google will tell you this. But your quartz salesman won’t.
  14. The most beautiful marble it more beautiful than the most beautiful granite, and almost as cheap as the cheapest granite too. But nobody care about marble anymore.
  15. I think is sad.
  16. None of this is truly necessary. And yet it must be done.



The House Project: The Eve of Phase III

Dear Zonk,

Civil work on my kitchen starts tomorrow, and I want to tell you a little bit about this massive project.

My kitchen is a dingy little cave like room in an otherwise bright and cheery home. My building is over 30 years old. Which means that everything built into my kitchen was poorly planned and all existing frameworks are unusable. So, in order to end up with a modular kitchen, we have to –

  1. Break the existing platform.
  2. Build 2 new ones. We’re going parallel.
  3. Redo the window, because this one is framed by ancient, rotting wood.
  4. Tile the walls.
  5. Change the flooring. Because the previous owner was bright enough to rip out the white mosaic floor and have a dark green mosaic put in instead. On purpose. Inspite of it looking ghastly and depressing as hell. He told us it made sense because kitchen floors get dirty and dirty green floors are good for hiding dirt. Go figure.
  6. Paint.
  7. Do something about the loft doors, to make them match.

And then we put in the modular furnishings.

It’s going to be a rough 2 – 3 weeks, Zonk. I wish I could bypass all the stress and the mess of the actual renovation process just come home tomorrow to a brand new kitchen. I’d totally pay extra for the magic.

Accio? No?

Love always,


The Badass Bicycle Ride

Dear Zonk,

I cycled 22km yesterday. Today, to be precise. From midnight till about 3.15 a.m. And I managed this without passing out or throwing up or giving up or Lonazep or any of my other five hundred fears coming true. I cycled 22km yesterday and tonight, I am okay. No major aches or pains or strains.

I have been steadily ignoring all of my other resolutions this year. And I hope some of them get back on track once my kitchen is done (it starts day after). But even if those portions of my life remain dismally neglected, at least I’ll still be able to think of 2016 as the year I finally stopped failing at being fit. And that’s something, after all.

Love always,

The House Project: Phase III

Dear Zonk,

Nine days from now, we start with our kitchen renovation.
That’s phase three of the House Project. And it’s going to take a good 15 or 20 days to get done. And that sucks. Because renovation is a bitch. It’s messy and stressful and pain causing and wallet burning. But when it’s done, Zonk, my house will finally be finished.

And that’s something.

Love always,

This house.

I got home at 8 tonight.

That’s a rare thing, Zonk. Because Wednesday is usually Yoga day, and because things have been hectic lately, and because I had to meet a contractor who couldn’t make it after all. I rang the bell and I stood outside until it hit me that the house was empty. My mother and nephews were out and I’d forgotten.

But houses have vibes, you know? Sounds and smells and so on. I have a theory that if you know a house well enough, you can identify it by vibe alone.

I know that I can sense mine. When I stand outside my door on a weekday evening, my house feels like scolding and laughter and weariness and loud TV shows. But I stood there tonight and it felt only still. Which is also rare. And also nice.

And so I dug my key out of my bag and let myself in and lay down on my bed and spent 10 minutes feeling profoundly, uncomplicatedly happy to be home early on a Wednesday night in a house I can read through the door.

Love always,